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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28554420">Mender Ender</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SplittedBanana/pseuds/SplittedBanana'>SplittedBanana</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>RAD (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Body Dysphoria, Body Horror, Character Study, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Violence, Introspection, Mutation, Post-Apocalypse, Post-Post-Apocalypse, no happy ending</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:27:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,327</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28554420</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SplittedBanana/pseuds/SplittedBanana</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In the ruined expanse of a world fragmented by two world-ending catastrophes, humanity, or some form of it, hangs on by a thread. And yet, in between the life-long struggle to survive, one wonders about the fates of those who cast their being into the void in order to keep that thread from snapping.</p><p>There's not enough time to wonder for too long, though. And it probably doesn't matter much in the end.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Mender Ender</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>
  <i>Most people figured that, when the kid had freed all that loose energy, they just got… wasted, too. But I don’t know. I like to think that they’re still out there, but they’ve just – just changed too much for the town to have anything else to offer them.</i>
</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was the noise of it all that was the first thing she noticed; or more specifically, the lack of it. The Fallow was very quiet and desolate (fitting with a wasteland, huh) – but the closer one got to the Devoured Expanses, the louder things got… the constant buzzing of the damn glowing meteors was enough to drive a person nutty after a while, electricity practically sizzling through the air all the time. She had wished at times that something would change about her ears… make the sound go away. Of <em>all</em> the places never to mutate…</p><p>Well, it was gone now.</p><p>The Colossus lay in shattered pieces all around her, unfathomable technology splintered into bits and run through with countless bloody thorns. The energy… container – whatever it was – was empty. There was nothing left for her to do, really, except maybe hope that some of the lightning-like bolts that had streaked off from the giant Mender generator had made it back to the settlement alright. It was a <em>long</em> way away, but she’d learned by now that Mender technology… well, it just always sort of surprised you somehow.</p><p>And now what?</p><p>She pushed the goggles up to her forehead, wincing as they slid out of the deep impressions on her face, almost permanent red markings.</p><p>Sitting was almost more painful than standing – but everything hurt now, of a truth. The thick and heavy thorns that protruded from her stomach and jutted out into the area around her were good for keeping muties away from her but not so good when it came to… well, just existing, sort of.</p><p>When they had grown in at first, it had been almost <em>impossibly</em> painful, like being permanently impaled but unable to die. Now… well, she couldn’t tell if it wasn’t so bad or she’d just gotten used to it, used to the constant background of burning pain that laced every part of her body with every motion.</p><p>Instinctively, her thick blue tail-ovispositor-growth thing curled around her own chest, the closest she could get to hugging herself now with the damned spikes, only way she could put enough pressure to even <em>feel</em> the hug through the strange, unfeeling rubberiness her skin had acquired. The wet slit at the end of the tail was aching – probably from pushing so many eggs out. Ugh. The eyes on those … babies? those <em>things</em> still creeped her out.</p><p>At least they could properly fly. Her wings were big and heavy and still weren’t enough to do more than glide down from a cliff or something, and she had scratched their membrane on her spikes more times than she cared to remember. Fuck, that was the <em>worst</em>.</p><p>So what now? She hadn’t planned for any of this – hadn’t really ever expected to get this far in the first place. Had sort of just expected to end up mired up in one of the Fallow’s toxic pools or smashed into bits underneath some hideous creature.</p><p>And it was such a <em>long way</em> here, and it would be such a <em>long way</em> back. And she was <em>so</em> tired.</p><p>Her body was increasingly feeling like it was no longer her own. Sure, it was her head, her <em>mind</em> in there, but what the hell was it piloting anymore? After being dragged through the wastelands of both fuckin’ apocalypses, it was scarcely recognizable – scarcely distinguishable from any other mutie like the countless hundreds she’d kicked, hit or impaled … even ones that looked like her, that walked on two legs and groaned incomprehensibly about the presence of their life before, gurgling out corruption as they crumpled to the ground.</p><p>The rads had done their work. They had made it possible for her to make it this far. But there was no changing her back, no <em>un</em>-mutating her body. If she even approached the settlement again she might be attacked on sight. Or maybe the Elder would recognize her, would permit her entry, but… for what?</p><p>She could, at the very least, <em>survive</em> out here.</p><p>Sure, it was lonely and hot and poisonous and miserable – but would it be any less miserable going back? She tried to imagine returning to greet her peers and having to tell them all to mind her spikes. Being unable to feel her parents hugging her through her rubber skin. Probably not even able to fit inside any buildings and definitely not able to lay down… damn spikes again.</p><p>Sure, her life had been there, once, and even someone she (thought she) might love. Definitely crushed on, at one point in time. But she was pretty sure all of that had been lost back when these spikes had first started budding in painfully hard lumps beneath her skin. The first time she had keeled over in pain, feeling rads seeping into her body, ripping her apart and putting her back together in some way she didn’t recognize.</p><p>She stood and idly kicked at one of Colossus’ shattered remains.</p><p>“Not so different after all, are we, buddy?” she snorted. “Had a purpose. Served a purpose. Well, at least you get to die. Also, I’m pretty sure you were never self-aware of it in the first-place… dammit, what am I doing?”</p><p>Still, it was hard to shake the idea that the giant automaton had somehow gotten the best end of their exchange.</p><p>Re-entering the Devoured Expanse, now with the Colossus behind her, was to be immediately overwhelmed by the sound of it all again. But, actually, she didn’t mind it, instead leaning on a rock and staring down into the misty chasms that marked pretty much all the terrain on the planet nowadays. (Elder said sometimes that it used to be a lot smoother back in the day. Sometimes she wondered what that looked like. But apparently there also used to be <em>non</em>-poisoned water collected on the surface too. All sorts of wack stories, the Elder told.)</p><p>“I’ve been re-made,” she said aloud, then louder. “RE-MADE.”</p><p>Echoes returned. “Re-made. Re-made. Re-made.”</p><p>What did it mean?</p><p>Maybe this was what the Elder meant after all when he talked about the abyss staring back at you or something. Like… sure, you could survive the Fallow, but once you did, would you ever be able to leave?</p><p>No, the answer was no. And now her stomach growled, and she was hungry. Perhaps there would be an antelobe or two around here somewhere.</p><p>Cautiously, she stepped around her rock, placing her feet over the edge of the cliff, into the sheer drop. The Mender bat had been discarded behind her. (Perhaps someone else would find it someday?) Her wings spread and those spikes grit into the cliff face as she slowly slid down without the re-made tech to arrest her descent.</p><p>Actually, she hoped that no-one found the Mender bat. There was something oddly comforting about the idea of it, too, being slowly swallowed by the wasteland, along with Colossus and everything else. And as the bottoms of the chasms became visible through the mist that filled them, she breathed in deeply of the damp (probably poisonous) air and tried to clear her head.</p><p>She had done her duty, and that was rad. <em>She</em> was rad, probably. Maybe people back at the settlement would say so. But she didn’t feel particularly rad. Just… irradiated. Much more boring. Much more final. She too had become a part of the wasteland after all, seeping into her every pore. Suddenly, it was no wonder that even the Menders had succumbed too.</p><p>Maybe living things just weren’t meant come out on top after all. And even after two apocalypses, humanity (or whatever it had turned into) still hadn’t gotten the message. But here, now, in a body mutilated and mutated and re-made into something hideous… it was hard to avoid.</p><p>So, maybe the Colossus – that unliving robot – really <em>had</em> gotten the better deal than she.</p><p>Funny how that worked. Except it wasn’t funny at all.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Wow, am I officially starting a fandom? Yes, yes... I guess I am. That's pretty awesome. If you, awesome reader, found this fic - well, you're pretty rad yourself. :) I hope you enjoyed.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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